Right in the worst or so moments of my life, and I produce this gem of game on the 64 square board. Talking chess here, bro! A sense of accomplishment spiked with “reachness” was exactly what it felt like when the win was inevitable. Not a forced mate, in a number of moves; neither was it a stretched tactical exchange like most amateur games go through. Simply a sacrificial lamb of my e3 bishop on h7, with an awaiting f3 knight to g5+, then my queen (not freddie mercury’s) to g4… you can read about the Greek sacrifice on another post.
If only I could describe every move with annotations and comments but, I guess you… my reader, are not cut for the nuances of chess. What of the thought processes I went thru’… huh!! Oh, maybe I deliver it like it’s done by @ollie at fivethirtyeight.com
The beauty of chess or what the masters call the romantics is what had drawn me to the game. Over time I changed – changed from whatever it was that kept me playing and wanting to improve everyday. Had to be the discipline, the philosophical attributions of the game to everyday life and the whole human race itself. I love the scientific approach too. But had to change. From playing dull drawn out games that might last several minutes to hours. I changed to wanting to play like the masters. Quick, jerky sacrifices, combinations that produce complications that got the opponent’s mind bleeding of tactical weakness and confusion. I wanted to control the tempo of the game, whether black or white. Give me tempo, and I will play with only a pawn and two bishops and knights. The adrenaline oozed into the air everywhere, you could smell it.
But more important to all this is the esoteric aspect of the game. I wish I could feel the energy of the pieces on the board. The mental exertion of the opponents; the guidance of instinct; the constraints held astutely by the rules and regulations of the game. I love it all. I still have the hunger every once in a while, mostly in lost positions, to play at the very highest level ever. Feels like I were new to the game every time that insatiable feeling of inadequacy comes to me, and makes me want to read every chess book i can lay my hands on.
After all, the great super GM Hikaru believed chess was and still is an eternally drawn game, and do I concur? So much, it’s the balance of life. Now my game. The Madness that never was, buh is. I produced this beauty from nothing but confidence and calculation as was studied from the masters who brought me here. Am I stopping yet, No! Not until the ground eats me up… as the story is still untold.
